So yes, I’m writing this post four days into the new year, but in all the craziness of a new year, this is the first morning I’ve had the time & prerogative to pause & write.
In January of 2012, I read a post by Nova Ren Suma about her private, personal New Year’s Resolutions (for a full recap of that, and how she did in 2012, read this post here). She posted pictures of her numbered resolutions, but didn’t tell us what the resolutions were. Well, I loved her idea and followed suit on this blog here.
I don’t even remember what these say, to be honest, which is probably a sign of poorly kept resolutions. I do remember them being very broad, and not very easy to keep, which is a sign of my not often making resolutions in the first place. But, I’ll open them up & then be very honest about how poorly I really did in 2012 on keeping my private, personal (and sadly, forgotten) resolutions. (In my defense, I did carry them around with me in my daily planner, but I probably should have looked at them more often.)
#1 reads . . . Finish the manuscript draft of my novel.
HAhahahaha. This did not happen. Not even close. But something a little better did happen: I stopped feeling guilty about letting the novel, outlined but unfinished, sit to the side for the year. When I entered grad school in 2011, I did so knowing I wouldn’t want to use my free time to write a novel; I love writing, but I do so much of it for school that when free time comes along, I usually fill it with TV watching, sporting events, and exercise. In 2012, while I did not actually write my novel, I did something I intended to do from 2011 when the story & characters danced enticingly into my mind 3 weeks before grad school began: I gave it (and me) room to breathe. Sure, I still took time to jot down new notes, to try out new scene & dialogue constructions, and other little, fun, novel-writing things to keep me in tune with the story when I had time. But I learned not to feel guilty about sticking to my other pursuits in life, like graduate school, which is a major time and mental commitment. I also remembered how to enjoy relaxing, instead of feeling like I was failing as a writer; I took the time to learn something new, something I’ve always wanted to learn (ballet) and I got back into something I have always loved, and always done (competitive soccer).
In 2011, writing ceased to be any fun at all and felt like a constant competition against my writer friends. My friends did nothing at all to provoke this because the feeling was all within me. Still, it sucked, and I dreaded writing. In 2012, I stepped away from writing almost completely, and it was really the best thing I could have done despite this first resolution. In 2013, I don’t know what will happen for my writing, but I’m feeling more hopeful this January than last.
# 2 reads . . . Meet blog deadlines on MHLit and my personal blog.
Well, I sorta met this requirement? Until fall semester, I did very well blogging here on my personal blog, but after that, it was a lot of cricket chirps. But still, significantly better than I had done any previous year on a blog, so this is improvement, and may the improvement continue!
I left MHLit early in the year because I finally admitted something else to myself: I really don’t like writing so many book reviews. If I have something I really want to say about a book, then yes, I’ll post a quickie review, but otherwise, I just don’t want to do it. This made me a terrible fit for a book review blog.
However, making the decision to leave MHLit did give me the time to join up with six other women to launch a new blog site, NA Alley. The Alley promotes New Adult literature, and it has been a great space to blog and it’s been a really fun working environment with the ladies. I did, in fact, not miss a deadline for the Alley, though being me, I did post everything exactly AT the deadline.
# 3 reads . . . Read my To Be Read pile.
See, this is one of those awful resolutions because it is just not possible to complete. I will never, ever finish all the books I own that I haven’t read because I will always buy new books. This is just how it goes.
All in all, 2012 was the year I stopped lying to myself and, therefore, stopped feeling guilty about lying to myself. I remembered that grad school is, in fact, right now, more important to me than writing a book. I admitted that I don’t like writing certain content for blogs, and most of the time that is reviews of any kind. I prefer discussing books, movies, television, etc. over posting my opinion because my opinion can and does change as I talk to people about the things I love, hate, or don’t care about much.
Other things that happened in 2012: I finished my first year & a half of graduate school, and I was approved for graduation this coming May! I got engaged to Boyfriend, so now he is Husband-to-be! I made new friends, I reconnected with old friends, and I lost a few friends, too. 2012 has gone on a good note, and I’m excited about 2013. I suspect it’s the year I really begin to feel like an adult.